THE GOTHIC BRIDE'S GUIDE TO PLANNING A HUMANIST WEDDING
Lynne Hill
- Features Writer -
It should take 3 minutes to read this article
Want to hold a Humanist wedding ceremony but don't know where to start?
We've got all the advice you need to make your Humanist ceremony more than just a dream.
PROS AND CONS OF A HUMANIST WEDDING
Just need a quick overview of this type of wedding to see whether or not it’s right for you? Here’s our at-a-glance look.
PROS
+ Cheaper than a wedding in a church or approved structure
+ Can be personalised in myriad ways
+ No religious traditions to follow
+ Tie the knot almost anywhere
CONS
- Not legal in every country
- Bespoke traditional elements may confuse some guests
- Traditional locations (such as churches) may turn you down
- No established script to follow
WHAT HAPPENS AT A HUMANIST WEDDING?
The short answer is, whatever you like.
As the ceremony is non-religious you can tailor your wedding day anyway you want: from how you arrive down to the last mouthful of cake.
A Humanist ceremony lets you hold a totally personalised celebration of your life together as a couple in the way most meaningful to you.
Whether you have special words you’d like to share or a piece of music that epitomises the spirit of your relationship, there will be a place for it in your ceremony. Go wild and make the day as personal as you can.
And as a Humanist ceremony is non-religious, you can include any cultural traditions and rituals that are meaningful to you and your partner without the fear of upsetting your resident pastor, priest, or rabbi.
HOW LONG DOES A HUMANIST CEREMONY LAST?
Each ceremony is unique to the happy couple. And that makes it almost impossible to state a precise time.
A very rough guide would be 20-45 minutes. But again, how long it lasts is up to you and your chosen venue’s restrictions.
If you’re concerned about your feet in those killer New Rocks, or your Aunty Sandra’s bladder, maybe a short Humanist ceremony is the way to go...
But if you’re feeling in the party mood, you could make it last an entire week! Make sure your honeymoon destination has a complementary foot-rub service if you do that though.
IS A HUMANIST CEREMONY LEGAL?
Humanist ceremonies are currently only legally binding in Scotland (in the UK), which means that couples elsewhere will still need to take a trip to the Registry Office to make their wedding legal.
On the upside, this leaves you completely free to hold your ceremony wherever you please.
Imagine a Humanist wedding on the Gothic cliff tops of Whitby. Or amongst the stunning scenery of Tintagel. Or even in the unique comfort of your own beautiful rose garden…
Although you need to check with the landowner if your dream venue is privately owned, such freedom of choice makes planning a Humanist wedding a lot easier (and cheaper too).
CAN YOU HAVE A HUMANIST CEREMONY IN A CHURCH?
If you’re a stickler for the Gothic majesty that only a real-life church can offer, you might be wondering whether you can hold your Humanist ceremony in one…
The answer is unfortunately no.
But there is a cunning workaround...
There are dozens of deconsecrated churches across the UK that may be able to recreate your Gothic-inspired dream. A simple enquiry will get you the answer in no time at all.
And don't forget ruins! There are many ancient abbeys and castles just lying around the place waiting to host your perfect day.
Don't believe us? Check out our top Gothic wedding venues.
WHO CAN CONDUCT MY HUMANIST CEREMONY?
While it's possible to have anybody you like perform your ceremony, a registered humanist celebrant will come with a wealth of experience and skills to guide you through the day.
Check out Humanism.org to find one in your area and see their reviews.
These amazing guys are like mini-wedding planners and will be able to give practical hints and tips as well as making suggestions and generally taking some of the pressure off.
It's easy to forget that this style of wedding may feel strange to some of your guests. Your Celebrant will work with you to ensure that everyone is happy and comfortable and that your special day will be enjoyed by everyone.
But if you had your heart set on being married by a family member or special friend, then that's fine too!
IS A HUMANIST WEDDING CEREMONY GOOD FOR A GOTHIC BRIDE?
If you want a Gothic themed wedding, a Humanist ceremony won’t stand in your way.
There’ll be no judgement if you want to release bats instead of doves at the end of your wedding ceremony. And no-one will prevent you from walking down the aisle to The Smiths or The Sisters of Mercy.
And because a Humanist wedding is more customisable than a Gary Numan action figure, you can add your own vows, rituals, romantic moments, poetry readings… Whatever you feel will make the day yours!
LOOKING FOR A WEDDING DRESS FOR YOUR HUMANIST CEREMONY?
Dramatic corsetry and billowing skirts are the stuff that wedding dreams are made of.
Our beautifully constructed gowns employ traditional Victorian structuring of both skirts and corsets to give you a breath-taking silhouette. Made to your precise measurements, you needn't worry about compromising on comfort any longer, while our hand-stitched detailing will make your dress stunning from every angle.
GOT YOUR OWN HUMANIST WEDDING TIPS?
Share your knowledge, ideas, and experiences in the comments below! You might make a bride-to-be very happy.